<font color="purple"> </font> I live my life day in and day out acting like I am happy. Not a bad thing, right? Well, really I'm not as happy as I seem. I was raised that you had to be that way. You know act happy, be nice to everyone, don't be rude or mean or any of that. So that's how I am. If someone starts screaming and yelling at me or hits me or whatever, I just stand there and take it. Why? Because it's not nice to do otherwise.

Like the other day I got really angry with my friend (see post title Static in Friendship on Relationships forum) and said nothing because it would be rude and not nice at all. I never say what I want to, never do what I want to, never really am the person I want to be.

Every morning I wake up saying in a happy upbeat tone, "Hi honey, I love you!" when really I want to just roll over and ignore the other person in bed with me. Or I say nothing when we are fighting when I really want to tell him to go to hell or something like that. Anyways, I just feel miserable sometimes and don't like being this way.

Does anyone else struggle this way?