Tuffy, but, Lex, yer not a fake. We've been trained. Untraining and re=training ourselves takes time and work and patience with ourselves. Just do the best you can in the moment and forgive yourself that you're not yet who you want to be.

I just flashed on those plastic smiling face forms that get attached to fruit tree buds so the fruit will grow up with a smiling face. I am like: leave the apple alone, geee whiz, already..... Our situations put smiley faces on us. Unlike apples, we can outgrow those imposed limits and recover our true selves, fluid in our many faces.