WOW! You just wrote my bio!
Except I am a 30 female LOL. Let me share some of my feelings with you that I have had just in the past week or so:
...I have nothing else to give... I will never fell better... I wish the world would just leave me alone... What is the point of going forward when nothing changes... I hate average people that just go through their day with no problem, I hate people in general... My life is a sham and any good times there were I was only faking for the people around me...
All I can say is you are not alone, and thank you for sharing. I really felt that no one in the world could possibly understand all the crap I have been through in the search for feeling normal again.
I don't have the answer yet, I am continuing to move forward one moment at a time. I hold on to the belief that I will get there, one day, some how peace will come.