I agree, no cat abuse involved. Feelings are one thing, actions are another. You say you pick the cat up with FEELINGS of strangling or shaking her, but you do not say you actually DO that.

Likewise, I'm having another severe headache, and I just said through gritted teeth to one of the cats who was meowing nonstop, "Shut up or I'll shut you up." Will I really, truly do anything to harm her? Absolutely NOT. Just venting, because I'm grouchy.