found my basic scale. yes therapy does bring % up, but so as i walk out the door it starts dropping. i guess cause i dont wanna leave my T. i did eat some, still hungry though.

% scale

100% happy to be alive, feel worth something, can do anything!
50% not happy, not sad, just alive taking up space
10% completely sad/depressed, absolute worthless, wish i was dead
<10% thinking about how to end life, if 0%=death

note the just basic scale i came up with to help T understand my 'settings'