I am not deppro...but have come to the horrid realization that I don't feel worthy of love. Lotsa self-loathing there and I don't know where it comes from. I thought that being a stable bipolar meant I'm rid of these demons, BOY was I ever wrong!

I have a fwb whom I love dearly, we're quite close friends, but I have a problem accepting love from him... (side note, I forgot why we agreed to keep the arrangement casual)

Then there are 2 other guys who are, how shall I put it, chasing my scent and the minute either one of them talk about being interested in me, I shut down, I say off putting things, and my word, I like them BOTH.

But I can't bring myself to appear appealing to ANYONE!!!!

I love love, well I thought I did. Why am I sabotaging myself to end up old and lonely? WAIT! I know the answer to that 1, I DON'T DESERVE TO BE LOVED...Question is, why the hell not?