Hello. Just needing to vent a little. Been feeling so down for so long. I started a new job a few weeks ago. I'm sooooo quiet and shy there, and people are probably starting to think I'm weird or something. See, this group of people are very outgoing and loud. I really don't fit in. It's sort of near the city, and I'm more of a suburban girl......if anyone knows what I mean. And, I'm in such financial trouble, I just have to keep going. My first day, I came home, and started crying uncontrollably. I mean to the point where I almost passed out because I couldn't breathe. During this "attack" I kept thinking how my life will never ever get better, I'll never have the motivation to live the life I want to, I have no true friends, what's the point, etc. etc. The thing is, I like being shy, and I wholeheartedly admit that I'm not too fond of people. I really love non-humans. And with this job (retail).......oh my god......I have such anxiety alllllllll day long! I just don't know how I'm going to make a living if I just can't stand people anymore. It almost seems that as I get older, I don't like more and more people. I feel like I don't belong where I am.......my face hurts from trying to act polite all the time. I'm so tired of it. And my home life absolutely does not makes things any easier. I can feel my nerves buzzing, like I'm about to just snap. And this feeling of hopelessness is bringing me waaaay down. I'm under a huge pile of bricks or something. It really physically feels that way. For the past year I've been thinking about moving west to Utah to live near this animal sanctuary. The ONLY thing keeping me here is my cats. I would miss them so much. I can't take them all with because I couldn't afford it (I have 14) and the person I live with loves them too. I've run out of ideas on how to make myself happy. I'm empty, frazzled, and weighted. Don't know what to do anymore.