I often wonder where my friends went and then I remember, "hey stupid, your last manic episode pushed them all away". I had an affair with a friend of ten years. Ending that, of course, ended the friendship. It also ended friendships with most of my female friends that thought he was the best thing ever, since they thought my husband was a bad person for cheating on me sometimes, too.
The other "friends" I chose to cut out of my life were the ones that only like me when I'm manic. Apparently, I'm a lot of fun then, the party girl and the "I can do anything" girl! Whatever.
I'm left with one friend who can't talk about anything but herself and her issues, and one friend who's son was killed in a car crash and she rightfully deserves her own time to heal, so I don't bother her with my issues.
BiPolar can be a very lonely thing.