Hi, beachgirl. I think to a certain extent, he was being cautious with your feelings in closing out the websites and deleting them? He knew it would upset you.

Other people have their secrets, their secret vices even. My husband would not have closed the pages when I came in the room because I do not feel bad about his fantasy sexual/sensual interests. My husband likes lingerie and has 98 Playboy lingerie magazines in the bottom of our TV cabinet that I have "had" to move in and out of there to fix the stereo. Actually I only moved them out, I made my husband move them back in after asking him to get rid of most of them because of the space they were taking up; he declined and moved them all back in. It is his house too though and I have more "junk" he probably doesn't care for hanging around then he does.

If it is his computer, I would let him look at what he likes. It is his life to live how he likes and if he is not spending time looking at porn instead of being with you, looking at it on his own time, I don't see how it is your business. Do you tell him all your sexual fantasies? Would you be embarrassed and defensive if he demanded to know or read your personal diary?

That you had a problem with your ex- and found him untrustworthy is not this man's problem to solve. That is your problem. That this man likes Russian women and had a problem with his Russian ex- and she was untrustworthy is not your problem to solve.

I think you will get even more hurt (rather than helping yourself heal) if you set up a double standard where you expect him to trust you, despite your egregious invasion of his privacy, but you do not trust him because of his sexual likes and dislikes. He has not cheated on you that you know of! He has not called the dating service and gone out with any of the Russian girls. He is not a pervert for liking Russian girls anymore than you are "cold" for not liking pornography.

Were I you, I would apologize for invading his space. You do not have to apologize for not liking what you know of his interests, that you do not share them but you do have to decide if you and his differences in likes/dislikes are enough for you to decide you are not compatible and you don't wish to be with him anymore. You cannot change him and his likes/dislikes, you can only decide what you will do, knowing what his likes/dislikes are or learn to enjoy him as he is.