Hello, surferrosa. Have you seen this article? http://psychcentral.com/lib/2007/fin...therapy/all/1/

You might also try here to see if you are entitled to assistance: http://www.namicalifornia.org/affiliates-local.aspx

I can understand your concern about what you boyfriend might think. I would hope he would be supportive. The major concern for you right now, however, is getting better. Your title to this post raises the alarm. Please get the help you need.

Good luck.