Yes. And "sabotaging" is exactly the right word... the fear of being abandoned or otherwise hurt by the T (as "so many" others may have done) causes us to try and thwart them from caring about us.

It's good that you recognize this, and maybe that will help you to realize when you do some things, or say some things, to your T that it isn't really about what you say, but your internal efforts to make "sure" you let them know you are "not" worth their caring. It is a scarey time... and isn't brief, imo.

Of course you (and everyone) IS worth being cared about.... those who haven't experienced this unconditional caring, don't know "where" to put it in their brains... it's new territory and thus, fearful. TC..