Today was my teachers funeral. I did not cry. My mom made the comment that i should not cry over this. So i didnt. I want to cut. Allready have too. But its either that or cry and crying is not allowed. The funeral was so sad. I saw my classmate Pat cry. he was her nephew. I saw people from school including the principle which we made eye contact. I saw my teacher in the casket. Grey in color and very little hair. She looked like she was sleeping. As im typing this my eyes are watering. But i cant cry. This is something u dont cry about. I also saw her grandkids poor kids loosing there grandma when they are still in the beginnings of elementry school. I saw the doctor that she was best friends with who diagnosed her with cancer. The funeral was nice. Scared me a bit cause im surrounded by a different religion and felt odd that i was the only one who didnt pick up the bible or sing the hymms. I couldnt. I dont want to go back on my religon. I felt as a stranger in the church. Like i barley knew anyone. The only person who knew me and loved me was now dead. She understood my beleifs and my problems.