oh phoniex, heart goes out to u. You are being amazing and strong. I know how hard it is to communicate. and its good that you are expressing some of it here. You need to know you are being heard, dont keep it all in too long. But hearing your current situation , its obviously a hard time to find the right people to talk to, could your nuts and bolts T refer u to someone while your normal T is unwell?
If u want someone to help you that way?
Your doing the very best for your children, dont forget it.