I was sad, but not all that surprised really when diagnosed as bipolar. It runs in the family strongly and I knew I had the tendencies, but fought it and told myself I was "moody" yet not across that line. But still, it made sense.

I fought the obsessive compulsive personality more because I wanted to think "persistence" and not letting go of things were an advantage--yet increasingly saw the down-side, so came to terms.

But the ADHD diagnosis is one I can say I truly hate. I have always considered my extreme attention to things an advantage, but it became a curse as well. "scatter-brained" seemed something separate.

I had ZERO problem concentrating on things like school-work, but attention to excess and lack of prioritization eventually killed my academic pursuits after graduating with honors as an undergraduate. With extreme focus as one of my perceived "strong points," how could I possibly have an attention DEFICIT???? (I think rewording that label would be helpful--just attention disorder, perhaps? so much easier to swallow that bitter pill of the two edged sword).

I failed to graduate with my graduate degree after twice as many years as I had planned of extreme family tension, mounting debt, counseling for my behavioral problems that I never did conquer enough to succeed, and now I am making half the wages I thought I would be to try to repay the debt--have done that to my hard working husband. Feel like a complete failure--so ashamed.

Yet still I HATE this label--while I can accept the others. Some of it is that I seem to be "collecting" diagnoses, which makes it seem like maybe they are a crutch, even though I know better, but the more diagnoses, the more my husband think the whole thing is a crock, as he never believed in any of that stuff to begin with and never will.

Destroyed self-esteem, even with counseling. Doesn't seem right to have to have someone to prop it up forever, which adds to the lack of esteem.