dont just assume that u created this situation. Blaming it on yourself wont do you or him anygood. The most important thing is for both of you to keep reaching out and looking for help. And looking to surround yourselves with beautiful places and people
Dont feel that you should have tried harder to hide your pain, it would not have helped. You must be very kind to yourself right now, you need it. And maybe that will rub off on him too... But do seek as much outside support as you can, does he have a male (outside the immediate family ) to hang out with? Sometimes having a 'mentor' really helps boys.
You need to know you are a good parent, keep being strong.
Xx .