Oh, these thoughts are all so common to therapy! The best thing I can say is... share this (even if you have to print it off and give it to T)...

There is something "beyond" being paid to "care." A person can have a job, and not care... and they don't really do the job, you know? Don't hold it against someone who has decided to spend their life helping others.. because they have to have money to eat and pay bills so they CAN help others. Not everyone can do the job of a T. I'm sure you've met some ppl who plan on going into the field, and you don't see how... they just don't "have" it..? IMO it's a "calling."

Think about how many ppl have been in your life... hadn't you cared about many IRL? Just because it's most efficient to schedule helping others... doesn't make it any less genuine...

The feelings stem from perhaps not having enough ppl IRL who cared for you... so why should a stranger? And you reason that out by saying OH the T is PAID to care... the idea that you are WORTH it... you are worth being cared about... can't enter your mind... ((((hugs))))