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arli said:
And why we have to choose similar characters for friends, lovers....even for marriage? Why we tend to repeat the same pattern instead of going ahead?

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I think it's unresolved issues from childhood that pop up in adulthood.

Below are listed the "adult child" list of common characteristics that many people who grew up in dysfunctional homes seem to share (by Dr. Janet G. Woititz):

Adult Children:

...guess at what normal is.

...have difficulty in following a project through from beginning to end.

...lie when it would be just as easy to tell the truth.

...judge themselves without mercy.

...have difficulty having fun.

...take themselves very seriously.

...have difficulty with intimate relationships.

...overreact to changes over which they have no control.

...constantly seek approval and affirmation.

...feel that they are different from other people.

...are either super responsible or super irresponsible.

...are extremely loyal, even in the face of evidence that loyalty is undeserved.

...tend to lock themselves into a course of action without giving serious consideration to alternative behaviors or possible consequences. This impulsivity leads to confusion, self loathing, and loss of control of their environment. As a result, they spend tremendous amounts of time cleaning up the mess.