Interesting viewpoints.

I think adolescence NEEDS to be that transitional period between childhood and adulthood. I grew up in an environment of, "You are 100% a child until the very day you turn 18. Even after that, if you haven't moved out, I'm still going to tell you what to do." IMO this is not conducive to creating responsible, mature adults capable of running society. I believe narcissistic parenting comes into play here. In our family it was less about teaching us right from wrong, making productive citizens out of us, than it was about showing us who was boss.

As an example, when my brother was 12 years old, he noticed some matting in our dog's fur, and trimmed it out. He did no aesthetic harm to the dog at all. In fact he did a very good job. IMO any healthy, normal parent would have praised him for doing what needed to be done, without waiting to be told. Instead, my father reamed him out for making a decision by himself, and not asking first. It took me YEARS to overcome the tendency to just sit around and wait to be told what to do, before doing anything at all.

I see nothing wrong with what LFMN describes, the older or more able sibling helping to care for younger or less able ones. (*Helping* to. As long as the entire burden isn't on their shoulders. It ultimately rests with the parents.) That's how responsibility is learned--by doling it out, little by little. In my case, as the oldest of four, I couldn't win. I was expected to watch out for the younger ones, but they didn't have to listen to me. I was punished for "allowing" my sister to climb on top of the bathroom sink to brush her teeth. (She could have fallen and gotten hurt!) But I was also punished for trying to make that same sister sit down on a moving school bus. (She doesn't have to do what you say.) Also, by the time I was 14, my mother had begun working outside the home, and it was my task to have supper on the table. On the nights when I cooked, my brothers weren't obligated to eat, but if my mother had the night off and she cooked, they had to eat what was on their plates. This told me indisputably that although I had the same responsibility, I was not entitled to the same respect. Why? Because I was not an adult.

It also is true that an underage person (I refuse to call someone as mature and responsible as LFMN a "child") shouldn't have to worry about certain things. In an ideal situation, the parents take care of the child, not the other way around. But this is the real world, which is not an ideal place.