I agree with Byzantine. You haven't really dealt with the issues that plague now, therefore you cannot move forward. You're stuck in the past!

The only way to deal is to really try to get over this. Do what it takes - counseling, journaling - anything to get to the root of why you compare this person to all others.

A relationship that is dead is like dealing with a death. That person that you invested in are no longer. When you can get past your grief, hopefully you can get past the notion that everyone else is going to hurt you too.

I'm kind of dealing with the same thing, and am thinking of severing all ties with my ex-husband because it's getting weird. I have to put it to rest, and I have to move on. Hanging onto this only hurts me - not him. That's a good way to think of it, too.

Good luck!