He just expects me to be able to open up to him like he can open up to me. He says he understands Im a very gaurdered person. I just get so fustrated, I don't know how or what to tell him half the time. And then I get anngry and I "fly off the handle". Were not even going out I don't get why he ****ing cares so much. Its just a hook as he says, but then i'll hold it against him and he denys it saying were just good friends, who happen to make out...*sigh* Hes a good guy but I taking something so great and Im turning it around bad. He can barely talk to me at this point, and this is second time "ive ended things with us" (i gave him back his sweatshirt, that i wear all the time). Ive tried explaining things, but he goes on saying he doesnt need this, he needs someone who can open up to him like he opens up to them. I have done so much for him and, i dont even know anymore. what am i supposed to do anymore. nothings making sence. i know im just ranting but im just so fustrated and confused. I just wish he understood how i felt but i dont even know how i feel and im jsut so overwellemed, i feel alseep crying last night. i cant even get out of bed. I feel so numb, like all i can do is feel regret and cry.The only reason i was afraid to tell him anything was i was afraid of being judged. everytime he asked me if i was feeling okay or if something was wrong i would just say i was fine and he told me he didnt beleive me but i just ignored it and flashed him and smile and continued as we went.
I don't know anymore, im just so tired and emontionaly drained.