Thank you for the replies (((everyone))). I am going to discuss this further with T on monday. I want her to care, A LOT, and still when she does I want to back off because there's a risk I'll get hurt.... This is what I do in life... I get people to like me, then I push them away. The usual "I'm not worth it"... it's the same with everything that's going good, ... I ruin everything. I hate myself for it. I am like one way on monday, then the opposite on tuesday. I can never make up my mind. What's wrong.... sorry....just venting I think?... anyways.....thank you for being here.