The conflicting signals are a mystery to me as well.

But, while I understand your point of view and you're certainly not alone in it, I disagree that kids are under too much pressure to grow up quickly. On the contrary, I think there are too many who don't grow up fast enough. I'm thinking of the ones who are 30 or 40 but have yet to leave the nest. My similar rant, recently posted, is that we treat kids like absolute children until the day they turn 18, and then boom, they're an adult overnight. Adolescence is not allowed to be the transitional period I believe it is supposed to be.