I can't go to the ER. They will put me on the most locked unit where the most severe cases are.Last time,husband did not call or visit or any thing.They treated me like every word out of my mouth was illogical,and as though I were in attack mode.Which I was as I am speaking with you now.The treatment was as if you'd just been received into womens jail.No exaggeration there.I was living in Nevada for a bit,and came back to Cali.for an appt.I stay most of the time living in my self contained truck camper outside with my books and computer and painting.I actually did fall off meds AGAIN.Good point...I will get back on them.Also have PMDD and DID.I hate to take the geodon for the did because of the side effects.And am beginning to split a bit.I dunno what to do with that bit.I will not abandon my sons,though grown,to the legacy of a mother who appears broken nor will I set the example of ending my life.I hide it all very well from them.I was severely triggered today and need to regroup.I can 'ride the wave' as u say....I have ridden much worse.I dunno about light at the end of the tunnel...but I have seen storm clouds break and allow rays of sunlight in for however long...to break up the storm.Your words are one of those beams of light...for me....as well,for many at p.c...and I personally thank you for your spirit reaching a hand to mine.I am climbing back up the canyon haha....just did a nose dive like the flying creatures in avatar haha.I'll meet you at the mountain top.Idk how to get Gtalk...I do have yahoo.I appreciate your spirit....wings spread out....fluttering around p.c with your compassion and empathy.You are valued and appreciated.~W~