I've been feeling extremely down lately. I try to describe it:
I'm in a room with nothing in it, I run from wall to wall trying to get out. There is a door but I don't open it. Because the room is my safe place. Once a week my T peakes in the room but I'm so scared of the outside and maybe even my T that I shut the door after some time. I feel ok again for a while, having had T come by but then I run around again.

I feel incredibly alone. I've told my T over and over and over again how lonely I feel but she can't do much about it.

At the same time reaching out to friends seems to hard at the moment. It's more stressful than keeping to myself so I keep to myself

I don't have suicidal thoughts because... well I don't even know why... I guess I still have hope that after all, life isn't supposed to be this hard. But right now I'm really, really struggling.

How do I get out of that room... without having panic attacks and feeling so exposed that I run back in?