I thank you for you advise but I dont see it the same as you. After the first time i confronted her with this she told me Yes I wanted to have an affair with him. I thought about it many times, But I didn't. This is why I forgave her and started the healing process. She also promised me she would have no more contact with him what so ever. Imagine how i felt when i saw over 20 searches of him including his twitter acct. Now to me this shouts loudly "I'm not threw with him or my feelings for him". I am not an innocent man by any means. I like most men have lust in me, buts its for a quite bartender or what have you. Not someone I see 3-4 times a week over the course of a year. In my mind it is different. Maybe I wrong but I just cant shake it.