Well, up until today, jhe had told me he KNEW something was wrong with him, and he hated he had to wait until the 10th (that's the soonest he could get an appt) to find out the truth and get help. However, his mom (who I also believe to be untreated and bipolar) totally disagrees with it, and says he is not, and he shouldn't get treatment. He went to stay with her all weekend. He showed up this morning to watch the kids and was horrible to me. he also said he "probably wasn't even bipolar!!" and I about had a heart attack. really? Has he regressed that badly? He blamed me for everything....he says he was incontact with this girl, and did have feelings for her, but he did nothing physical and he knew he ****ed up and could never earn my trust because I'd never believe him...but that it wasn't his fault because it took two people to make a marriage work, and I made him unhappy!!!! UGGGH. I gave him SO much support, that I set aside the fact that he said he didn't love me, and STILL promised to be by his side as a friend....he can't say I didn't try or that this was my fault. Ugh I'm so angry! He told me to **** off a few times, which is out of context for him (we always had "fighting fair" rules, including no use of name calling).

after I got to work, he posted on his cousins facebook wall that he was planning a roadtrip out to see him soon (two states away) Then he texted me about where the money went (we had a jar of cash that was the kids money). I told him it was in safe keeping for the kids, and asked why he needed it, and he said to pay the neighbor for yard work last summer. I'm a bit paranoid now he is trying to scrape up cash to drive away....if he walks out on his job, we are screwed. He carries our insurance for me and the kids.

Being with his mother is the worst place he could be, mental health support wise. I left a voicemail with our counselor today, notifying her of his denial of BP, and the money and roadtrip comments. I ahve been a mess all day. What do I do if he doesn't go to his appt next week? AGH!