Quote:
Originally Posted by lavieenrose
The longer I've been on SSDI and not working, the worse I've become at structuring my time meaningfully, and allowing myself pleasurable activities. I've become very restless and unfocused. I also have a pattern of thinking of 3 or 4 different uses for the same time block, and then getting confused and indecisive. I have to coax myself back to the pleasures I once enjoyed, mainly creative activities. Maybe setting a timer, telling myself that I'll sew or draw for 15 minutes. I've often then wanted to continue the activity longer, finding myself immersed. Sorry if this is a tangent. Seems sort of related.
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Yeah, that sounds similar to me, lavieenrose.
Making an effort to increase pleasurable activities sounds to me like as if you don't have any obligations always hanging over you, and you're just free to do what ever you want for significant amounts of time. But it seems like most people actually have a lot of obligations most of the time.
I think I probably do spend plenty of time doing things I kind of feel like doing (like posting here) it's just that I feel like I shouldn't be doing it. It usually just feels like a way of procrastinating to put off other stuff.
So I wonder how you get that feeling that you can be free to do what you want to do sometimes. When I'm already in a happier mood than usual, I do feel free to do what I want and I feel motivated to do the things I usually put off.
But when I'm not already in a happier mood, if I plan to "do what I want" for 15 minutes, it will feel like that's an obligation I have to struggle to fit onto my to do list too. hehe.
I think I just got motivated to actually want to do my taxes.
