I guess im suffering from depression. Recently i had a fight with my boyfriend. And trust me, its not a normal fight. I feel so guilty even till now. I cried almost every night to sleep. Everytime i gets angry my boyfriend said i tend to raise my voice as if i shouting. I realized it too as my previous boyfriends told me that i have this kinda problems. But i always didnt realize that im shouting or even screaming. The feeling is like heart racing, breathless, anger, headach, stress, air trapped inside me that i feel like sccreaming out loud. Worst of all i couldnt hear my voice when i am angry. Thats might be the result of me shouting. I kept having the thoughts that i was right all the time. And that my boyfriend was in the wrong. But after each fight i found that i was the one partly in wrong. This is causing serious problem in my relationship. And im so afraid of losing everything.

And i also have symptons of bulimia nervosa. I always puke out everything that i have ate. The portion of fod that i take in are not much. I tend to like drink soup or gasy drinks to make myself full till i feel like puking and that my stomach feels very uncomfortable. My mind is always having that kinda feeling that i am super fat. I used to be like 12Okg when i was in my childhood age at about 12.. And currently im 21years old and im 55kg. But im still feeling fat. At times i look in the mirror or my tummy, i cried to my boyfriend and said that im so fat. I would tend to pull my fats and thought of using a penknife to just cut it off. Its so damm ugly that i feel so disgusted.. Oh god pls help..