I thought I'd be ok. I hadn't had any voices for about 2 years or more. It was so nice not hearing men calling my name. That's all they are...just men calling my name. I hate them, really. They're all my abusers calling my name.

Last night as I was laying in bed I heard a man calling my name again! I thought the voices were over with! I've wanted them to stop for so long! Now they're back. The scariest part is that it was my bf's voice calling my name. I was just laying there right beside him trying to sleep...but knew sleep would never come. I was watching the walls, and the clock. The next thing I knew my bf was calling me...not from beside me where he was, but from the livingroom. I wanted to scream, to have my bf hold me tight so that I was being comforted somehow, but there was no relief, no one to hold me, nothing. I had to lay there alone and deal with this on my own.

I don't want to tell my T that the voices have started again. I never want anyone to find out! Why is this starting again? It's been so long and I've enjoyed this so much. I don't want them to start again, but they have.