When i read your post, I thought it was one of mine. I felt like I was looking in a mirror at myself. I cut also and did about three nights ago, both arms. It makes me feel like all the pain and hurt goes away. Normally it is just lines sometimes words like hate, stupid, etc.
I have kids in the house that i hide this from plus family members as well. Since it is winter, it is a little easier to hide. I use to do it all the time as a teen but it has only been the past month that I have started again.
I hope that you can find a way to get past the feeling of wanting to cut and focus on something positive.