I know exactly how you feel as my husband has been behaving very similarly. It makes you question your worth and why you are there, and hurts immensely!But not speaking up about what shes doing wrong and how its making you feel will only allow the damaging situation to continue. She will learn nothing and be none the wiser and you will continue to suffer at her hands. My husband has for all intents and purposes been living his own life and totally leaving me out of it, like a distant rude roommate. I fall asleep beside him and wake to an empty bed and have no idea where he is for hours and hours, and when he is home he still does his own thing with no thought for me. Maybe it wasnt fair of me but I eventualy confessed to him I had been thinking of suicide because I struggle with depression at times and I felt so alone and worthless. It was how I felt so I told him. I even got angry and let loose with some yelling and swearing. I dont necesarily recommend these actions, but the point is I communicated with him and showed him how much his behavior and lack of interest was effecting me and he has made a greater effort to be a partner to me. You need to let her know. if she still does not make an effort then you might want to start considering other options