thanks all.. I feel a little better after T yesterday.. I did mention my dissociation to her in our session. she didn't have much to say aside from asking if it's like normal forgetting (ie, not fully paying attention) or actual memory gaps. then she asked about how my depression is, if I'm coping ok, and about suicidal thoughts. it was sort of mentioned in passing since we had SO much to talk about yesterday.. perhaps we'll discuss it more next time.

my husband seems to have calmed down a bit about it all.. I think the main thing is that (like me) he is scared about what's to come. we both know that as I dig a bit deeper in T, things will get worse. he already feels like things are pretty bad and says he's not always comfortable leaving me with the kids. but what can we do? still.. all the more reason to take things slow. I can understand his desire to hurry up and get it over with - but ripping off this band-aid too quickly will just result in worse injury.