~Suga,
Yes,unfortunately,it is the only hospital which I'd be sent to in a crisis.To be fair...it is in California...is a Kaiser foundation member hospital....and in the past...I had been on unit 1 for only the first day...and had been quickly moved to unit 2,or 3....where one could attend groups,and participate in outdoor cafeteria,as well as walks,and relaxation type ...or art therapy events.
Except when I o.d'd and was on respirator...the brain damage was so bad,I couldnt recognize my sons...and required fall precaution.But tbh...I couldn't remember more than the moment I stood in at that juncture.Was there 1 1/2 mos. it never bugged me.
I am resuming the meds for the pmdd/depressive symptoms.If I ever "lose it" on here...it generally correlates to the pmdd symptoms/timing.I generally stuff my feelings and smile and assist ppl if I don't have pms...but I shift severely at that time.Cycle 26 days apart and pmdd is 10 freakin days per mo.Pisses me off haha.
As dismissable as it seems...my worst si attempts or like the time I had 72 stitches all point bact to times that I was suffering within that mo.time frame...and triggered by lifes severe stress...which to be fair...since 2000 major, major things have been occurring.
I am seeing a T...but tbh....as far as T's go at Kaiser...the visits are few and far in between.They wanted me to attend a group and I did go.The ppl were soooo hurting ...I cried uncontrollably the first 10 min and had to evacuate as I cannot bare to se suffering.Not like that...I absorb it.I actually mostly work in self help books at home.
I am incapable of asking for my needs to be met.I mean as overtly as I require.I berate me for being a (P) word haha.
As far as husband goes....uggghhhh.....soooo much going on there....been sleeping in camper if he is here...I made mistake of sleeping on couch other night...not good at all.
Sooo grateful Suga you have me in mind.That warms my spirit and makes a safe place to go and feel heard.
The sleep really really did help to smooth a bit of the edge off the emotionality.I kinda wish I'd slept more....but it'll happen.
~Again Suga....I thank You! ~W!