Wow. Thanks for you update Sun. So much to digest.

Good point you make about the crying afterwards. I think what I will do tonight is make sure I close my breathing focused meditations more slowly. I need to give at least a few quiet moment at the end just being open to receive from the universe. To just sit quietly and wait for that connection that allows me to hear from my heart. I like what you do too....focusing on positive thoughts and healing energy.

I did give a little bit of time at the end of last night's session to sitting quiet and open but I was getting impatient to get off the floor and wake my legs up again so I cut it too short I guess. Maybe next time it would be a good idea to just let the tears flow. To receive it as healing and welcome it rather then be afraid it will slide me into the depression pool.

Thanks for the encouragement Sun. The 20 minutes was pretty interrupted but its a good start for sure. Kudos to you too for pushing through the pain and discomfort to get in the 15 minutes last night and going back for more again this morning. Way to go. Focusing on the pain and feeling its rhythm is what I was doing with my headache too.

I am sorry about your back pain. Boy do I have the perfect matt for you. Its the oddest thing. It's about the size of a short yoga matt and it has these hard plastic spikes on it, about 1/4" long or so. Bare skin to the matt you lay on in for as long as you can or need to and its magical what happens. The first time I tried it I had a blasting headache and it took it away and it didn't come back. Once I got over the initial sting of the spikes it was as though I felt this good energy going through my whole body. I was relaxed and energized all at the same time. I was even breathing more clearly. A congestion I had going on vanished.

It is suppose to be good for insomnia and that is really what convinced me to buy it. Now that I think about it I remember the guy telling me he uses it when he meditates. hum.... you would think wouldn't you that I would use it. Dah! Me! Its in the closet. I have thought about using it but that's as close as I have come to pulling it out. Typical. lol.

Speaking of the finger thing.... I start each hand at the same time with thumb to index finger and with each long inhale I move down to the next finger and then work my way back up. Each finger is suppose to be attached to a praticular organ or zone in the body. The idea is to focus on the corresponding organ or zone but I can never remember which finger is for which organ so I just pick an organ or zone on my body working feet to head and go from there.

I start my breathing by doing 10 counts inhaling, 10 counts holding and 10 counts exhaling to ensure I breath in as deeply as I can and exhale as completely as I can with an empty pause before inhaling again. I stop counting when I feel I have the rhythm.

Interesting what you say about meditation not necessarily being relaxing. I think I always thought it was suppose to be but it makes sense that it is not bound to a single outcome. Its a good lesson in expectation versus acceptance. Control versus submission. Predetermining and going with the flow. The benefit is in the letting go of the impulse to be in charge of every moment and know what is going to happen next. I am going to think on that some more. Perhaps on my walk. Speaking of which.... the sun is now on the ground so its time for me to venture out into the cold brisk air for a while.

Good luck with the dentist. EEKS! I don't do dentist's well. My dentist has a tv purched from the ceiling to watch while he does his thing so that makes for a good distraction. Otherwise I do meditation of sorts to get through it all. I will pick out a word to focus on while at the same time attending to keeping my breathing slow and steady. I can get so stressed by the process that I hardly breath at all unless I consciously think about it. One time the dentist even noticed and asked me if I was breathing. lol.

The only good thing I can say about a visit to the dentist is that.... it too shall pass.

Have a great day everyone.