I finally gave in and wrote down some of the things that have been in my head... most of it has come up in the past month or two, but some of it was from 6-8mo ago.. things that they have shown me or said to me or to each other (if that makes sense).

I've had a hard time reconciling it all and figure out what to call it. I suppose flashbacks? but they're like someone else's flashbacks. there's a little one (around 5yrs) and another who is older (around 10yrs) that have both had... 'stuff'.

so I wrote it down. and today is the first time in over a week that I don't have a headache and the noise has gone down a little... kind of like a little bit of relief. so that's good i guess.

still, just writing it makes me feel like a bad person.

I told my husband I wrote some stuff down and he asked if he should read it. I told him it's up to him.