please pray for God not to give up on me.its like my mind has been taken over by the devil and i cant drag myself out of this dark pit ive dug. I've had awful nightmares lately that wont go away, in last night's my mother took me and my two 2nd grade sibling to a graveyard and told me to cut on of their throats with a kitchen knife she gave me because we dont have enough food to feed everyone.i was looking at my sweet little sisters delicate little face crying at me to put the knife down, and my bro was just looking at me with no expression, like he always does,and i chose him. it was so hard and my kept saying mean things like "do it now, he never had as much potential anyway" and i was about to bring the knife down for the final time when i woke up.it was so realistice and i could smell the blood coming out of the clean red line on his throat and woke up crying because these are things no one in my family would even think of