I don't want everyone to know I have BP, but I do wish that we could be given a break sometimes and not judged like normal people or set to such high standards. I don't know how to put it into words. I don't want to be treated "special" but just wish sometimes bosses, family, friends would give me some grace.
Ex. I've been OCDing over a job offer letter that should be coming but has not and it is really stressing me out and probably would a normal person. But I said to my Dad that it may not be God's Will for me to get this job or perhaps something has gone wrong... he yelled at me and said that I was having a distortion of reality. I just wish sometimes they could be gentle and realize that yes, maybe I am, but I can't help it, believe me it is hell and I wish I could see it the way a normal person may see it.
I am also expected to keep climbing the corporate ladder and everything that comes with that.....I have come to the realization that I may not become a VP, maybe I will, but just hard to have such high expectations when you battle an illness that makes these high goals even harder to achieve.
I don't want people to try to understand why I am acting a certain way or thinking differently, I just want them to be understanding. But it is hard when you live in a World where you have a secret and you are in a "normal" job, living the "normal" life and yet you are not "normal," but you are expected and judged as if you were.
Anyone experience this?