Okay, I am bumping this, not only do I have a no contact order from the kid, I just found out that the boyfriend's family moved the birthmother who is margainly functional to the next town to me. And I have all of these questions. She has made it clear she wants nothing to do with us. I am not doing anything for the holidays for her. However, it reminds me of my own parents and the fact that I have been away for years and they have now forgotten me but there is a level of pain even if it is what I want. I don't want those people in my life and now my daughter is treating me the same way? I am confused, I didn't abuse her, at least not intentionally. I pretty much say let her go and figure it all out on her own.