Hi
I am new to this thread.
I have been treated for borderline DID and PTSD. Here is the thing. I constantly having suicidal ideation. I am on a new antidepressent startedit in Jan. I want to be alone. I live with a woman who i 30+ yrs older then i am. She has temperment issues which really freak me out. I get scared and have been feling like im walking on egg shells. I told my T i am going to kill myself in may, but i am confilicted because i am afraid that it wont work and the person i live w/ daughter killed herself several yrs ago and it still bothers her my suicidality doesn't help. I am also struggling to stay conscious. When people talk to me i go away inside. i also constantly dig at my head and look for flakes. ( i know it is nasty). I have men issues. everytime i find a bf (which i want) i end up leaving him because i don't want to be around him all the time and the s*x just bores me and i dont get turned on after a while. but yet long for a relationship. i havent SI ed since 2004. I also use to have ED but am recovered. I am going to grad school and am graduating in may. I am terrified because i will need to get my licence (passed) and then find a job. I am afraid i am going to fail and not find a job. I know living w/the person that i live w/isn't healthy but as of right now i do not have a choice. I don't have money and i have a dog 2 cats and a bird. appartments are nto found of animals. What do you think?I need support. Oh. i also told mysupervisor that my T is breakin hippa by talking abot clients and one client is using her name. I told thearpist i told my supervisor and that supervisor is thinking about reporting her. T said that i have a personality disorder because i ratted her out. even though both of us sat (several months ago) and looked at bpd dx and she ssaid i don't have it. Im confused.
anyways. i guess it doesnt matter. but it doesn't help me when she said that i do and then that i don't. TC.
Thanks for reading.