It's very hard - I only clicked with T after 6 months (I know you've been with your T for 2 years). I had to learn to ask what I needed; I had to feel in my heart that she cared and WAS there for me.
I think I got very hurt when I realised that I want too much from T. I wasn't going to be her child or best friend. The way she cared for me was going to be unique.
If I needed romantic love, I cannot expect her to fill that gap too. I'm going to have to satisfy that need myself. Realisations like that hit me hard