Hey Melissa,

Yes, my story is pretty much exactly like yours. I think I have been in love with both a woman and a man, and I am attracted to both but do not welcome relationships or sex into my life because I do not strictly want them. I am 23. I seem to have normal sexual urges, but don't want sex with others.

The older I get the more worried I get about it. I know one's sexuality is one's own business, and it's okay to be like me, I just also know that love and emotional intimacy often times come wrapped in a sexual package. Do I want to be alone for the rest of my life? No, I am not asocial I simply do not want sex.

I am not sure that, in my case, this is healthy. It causes me shame and pain to be different, but I simply cannot tolerate intimacy and it is out of my control that I push it away. I become frustrated when people say, "you will find the one." I fell in love, and maybe I have found "the one", but it's not that simple because I can't tolerate being with people. None of it comes naturally to me.

Perhaps you are different and are happy in your life. I hope so! I think there are a good amount of people who are asexual and there are networks like AVEN which offer support and such.

It seems the scientific community is confused by asexuality and want to label it disordered, but there was a time homosexuality was in the DSM. Progress will sort it out.