Well, I'm sure that's why a lot of controlling people are controlling - due to anxiety - but I don't think you should label yourself as controlling just yet. Do you have a therapist? I have some similar issues as you, and therapy has helped immensely. I did a short stint with an antianxiety medication; my therapist wanted me to see what would happen if I didn't take action against the things I was anxious about, so that I could see that the world was not going to fall apart if things didn't get done on my timetable.

I'm not an expert in this; it's just that the word "control freak" always concerns me because it's a very negative generalization to a very complex range of problems.

Hopefully others here will have more insight; but a therapist would be a spectacular first step, especially since you seem to be open to changing for the better where possible (which in itself kind of contradicts the control freak thing)