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Hi ~ I'm sorry you're so upset. It's hard being a teenager. I'd never go back to those years for anything!!
Sweetie, you said that "you used to have friends that you "clung" to just to say you had them." You can't cling to friends. They'll run away. Friends want to be an equal. Friends want to SHARE things, not just listen. You can't 'use' people and call them friends. You can't make them listen to all your cares and woes all them time. They're going to get sick to death of hearing it - and they'll leave!!
Friends want to do things, share things, have fun, and yes be able to tell YOU some troubles too and expect YOU to listen sometimes. You have to treat people the way you expect to be treated. I get the impression that you want friends only so you can unload some of your problems.
Try just being YOU -- try to get involved in things at school - try to forget this guy - he's obviously gone now. See if you can't join in on some of the fun. If your problems are still too much for you, talk to a counselor. But don't dump everything on your friends. They can't handle their own problems let alone yours too. God bless and take care. I really hope you can make some friends. Hugs, Lee
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