ok. This is where I need help right now. I'm trying to figure out a way to think about this that isn't so me vs her. I KNOW it isn't really me vs her, because she's not my enemy. I just can't figure out how to make it so calling her doesn't feel like I'm losing my pride or something. I don't want to go back on what I said. But I'm becoming increasingly aware that I'm not going to be able to just move along from this and be okay about it ending.

Help me, you guys. Help me figure out what to think or what to say. I would love to be able to focus on my kids and my life without this taking over everything in my head and heart.