I just wanted to say that I really think you have done the right thing in calling T again and telling her exactly what you need- for her to call you back so you can speak to her. I have been in similar situations with t before, where i have just spiralled and got more and more desperate. Whatever is going on between you ( and im sure this is NOT the end of your relationship. Unless YOU want it to be), you and t need to talk to each other. I feel sure that at the very least t will call you back because it is her professional duty. As is usally the case with me in these situations, t is having a completely different experience of the situation than me. My mind plays tricks and I get caught up in thoughts that t hates me, is avoiding me, i have ruined everything, t will never get back to me and i don't know how to deal with it etc etc. When i finally get to talk to t he has usually been busy, did not get my messages/emails when i left them and as a result had no idea what i was going through in waiting to hear from him. And each time we have managed to get through it. I am sure your t will call you back when she picks up your messages. I know the wait is unbearable but hang in there