So. I have therapy in a couple of hours.

The thing with the cards, is that I can't "magically" make my 8 year old part appear. I know that at last session, T was asking me questions about seeing things from her point of view...."what was X like for HER", "what would she say about X", etc and I think that did sort of flip a switch, but I don't know.

When I am in "adult" mode, I can't just "be little". And I've been feeling so self-protective lately. And this is the last time I see T for 11 days because I'm going on vacation.

Whatever happens will be okay. But I am nervous. Nervous about being rejected, about not getting what I need, about everything.

I love T. I kind of wish I could just go and sit next to him on the couch and lean on his arm and just rest.