I have a pull/push dynamic with people. I really try to pull people toward me because i feel so alone. I'll do anything to get attention when I feel ignored, yet once I get that attention I angrily push it away and isolate again. Then try to pull the same person back in and the cycle keeps going on. I do this not just with intimate relationships but with family, friends and therapists/doctors.

Like many people with BPD, I have other mental health d/o as well. I think this also makes it hard to know what's going on with my behavior. I am also bipolar so sometimes I don't know if me crying at my husband that I want to hurt myself because of something stressing me is a borderline response to stress or if I'm feeling overly stressed because of a bipolar episode. I know labels don't matter all that much, but it can be very confusing to know how to help myself at a given time.