I would like to say a few things. One good job on expressing your feelings, alot of people have a hard time really getting their thoughts and feelings out...sometimes feelings are really overwhelming and it's easy to say well i just don't feel good...but you have broken it down and described very well what you are feeling so good for you! Second i have this feeling that if you were to see a councilor you might not know what to say or where to start so i would encourage you to print out this post and take it with you, or write something similar, so they day of when they ask you how you are you can say something other... "I'm ok" or "i feel bad"...which is almost always what is said. Another step you have already started is "do it anyway"...like you said you don't want to and then you just do it and it makes you feel better. Thats the first step in discovering how your own thoughts affect your mood..your on the right track and with a little help, i think you can definitely work through this. there is no reason to suffer, and you definitely deserve to have some stability in your moods and have a somewhat normal life. Please let us know what you plan to do!
oh and welcome to PC!