(((((((((hal)))))))))))

I'm sorry you're in so much pain I wonder if switching to a male therapist would help?

The love that occurs in a therapy relationship can certainly be confusing and hard to deal with. I do believe that working through it and getting to the other side can be really healing...but if you are in so much pain that suicide is starting to seem like an option, than it seems like it might be time to move on. Maybe a new, male T could help you move forward.

Welcome to PC....I hope things get better for you.