I can tell already I am going to 'break' again at some point. That is not an issue. My question is regarding hospitalization.

If I know I am going to break fairly soon, I will most likely end up in the hospital again.

My issue is this:

Is it a rational thought to want to go back to the hospital, so I can Learn how to deal so that after this time (and hopefully the last time) I won't have to go back to the hospital again? I'm thinking of asking to try a different hospital, as the last one I feel didn't help me anything besides meds. Which is good, for the most part...but not really a long term solution, right? I tried also, to be on 'good behavior' last time. This time when I go back (hopefully to a different hospital) I won't be polite, I will not fight myself so hard to 'be good'...a 'nice patient'. Is that healthy, or should I keep trying to be good, because its more healthy? I'm confused...but really fighting to wait until after xmas to go back to the hospital. Its a big deal with my family, so want to be here for them.